Why the Mom-Shaming needs to stop...
a brief history on mom-shaming
What I am about to talk about is a subject that may be too harsh for some mothers but it is my honest belief that it needs to be discussed. As you all know, I am a new mother (my boys are already two months old!) and I am discovering that there is an unspoken topic that lingers in the motherhood community that needs to be highlighted. Mom-Shaming. I first discovered the pangs of Mom-Shaming when mothers would DM on my IG (@thewonderlistxyz) and comment about things I was doing as a mother. It started off with simple questions like, “Are you still breastfeeding?” and turned into “You shouldn’t give that to your kids” or “Why are you going on trips without your children?” These are just mild examples of mom-shaming and it has to be stopped.
For years, women have been scrutinized to be the prime caregivers of children while men went to work and had time to themselves. Throughout the course of history, women were shunned, mocked at, even belittled when it came to taking care of themselves. Now that it is 2020, this needs to be stopped. No mother is perfect and no mother has the right to shame or belittle another mother just because it’s not the way they themselves mothered their own children. In the age of social media, it seems everyone serves as an expert to motherhood (blogs, doctors, etc) and that their way is “the right way” to being a good mother. I take every opinion with a grain of salt but ultimately encourage all new mothers to do it their own way, to mother in the best way they know how and the best of their ability. This is my recipe for living a great life with your children. A doula once told me, “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and most of them stink.” LOL. Most recently, I was shamed for going on a trip with my husband for our anniversary without my children. Another woman told me she was shamed for having a surrogate bear her child versus her giving birth herself. More women have come forward and told me that they were shamed because they chose not to breastfeed right away. The list goes on. My message to all the new mothers out there today is “be the best mother you can be” and that’s it. It is no one’s business or right to offer advice because what worked for other women may not work for you!